see you when i see you

the part of my trip that i didn't want to have to do came and passed and it definitely sucked... goodbyes are no fun, that's for sure. last night i had the hardest time getting to sleep, i last looked at the clock sometime after 5 and i dunno when i actually fell asleep, but i had to get up around 7... i ended up waking up and falling back asleep and i was supposed to meet meng at 8... oops. but we headed over to COFCO orphanage and i can't believe the progress they've made on building there... (i don't think i wrote about how they are getting pretty much a whole new 'building' thing, it's all made out of wood & whatnot... i thought they were just getting a whole new roof but they tore down everything yesterday and they have the structure of the building put up, it's taller and wider... it'll look great when its done) but ya, i played with the kids for awhile... let them take pictures lol they loveeee singing songs to the camera lol the only thing i'm disappointed about from going to COFCO today is that i missed saying goodbye to some of the kids because they were at school... that was sad :( i def cried today after i left there. within this month, the bond that was created with the kids and that orphanage was unlike i expected... nothing about this trip was like i thought it would be and that is far from disappointing. i've had so much fun with them... i had a great time playing games with them, watching their performances and dancing with them and teaching them english was harder than i thought, but i still think it went decent. i'm going to miss those kids, a lot... i really hope i'll be able to come back and see them one day.
after finishing up at COFCO, meng and i headed over to imagine orphanage... over the last 2 weeks, i've gotten really close with these kids... i think we did more play than study, but we had a great time. the kids came home from school just after i got there and we played bingo, skipped and took lots of pictures. it was pretty much the same when i was leaving there, very sad :(
when i got back to my hotel, it was hard to keep it in... i feel very determined to come back here one day and see them again... with having meng here and having a good guest house, it would be very easy to come back.
i can't even fathom how amazing it's been for me to be here... i just love it.
meng took me to a buffet for my farewell dinner, it was delicious... they actually had some american food. yuuuuum! and the show that the dancers put on was awesome too... the COFCO kids definitely did a good job learning from them.
i dunno what else i can say right now, i am excited to go home though... just wish i could bring every single little child home with me :(

love love love!

tonight was just amazing.
to start off the day, i got to sleep in... the glory of a sunday. then i chilled around all day, until about 4:30.
at 4:30 i went out to the markets... got a lot of stuff. the owners of the markets are really pushy when it comes to selling, as i think i said before, but they are also really into bargaining with you. when looking at stuff, i'd point one thing out and they'd be like, i give you discount if you get more! and then i'd haggle to get lower. meng told me when i first arrived that the prices they try to sell for are usually marked up 100% more than what they're worth, so bargaining is often a good idea. i got a lot of stuff tonight, i'm pretty pleased with how it went :) but that's not the good part of tonight
after shopping for a bit, i headed over to the orphanage. tri-weekly, they do performances and i'm disappointed that i haven't gone to more. they advertise their performances by going to pub street (i think it's a restaurant, but it might also be just a busssssy street) and they give out brochures about the orphanage... the visitors (which there were a lot of tonight) come and watch the show and get a free dinner and stuff. everyone who came tonight was thoroughly impressed with the kids. they did such a great job dancing and they love doing it.
after the show was finished, everyone got up and started dancing to all this upbeat dance stuff... we all got into it and the kids absolutely loved it. i think tonight was the breaking point where i realized how much i truly will miss them. they had smiles on their faces soooo big which contagiously transferred to everyone around them. these children are so upbeat, happy and just all around amazing to be with, it's gonna be so tough to leave them.
this whole thing has been an indescribable experience.. everything is so different from home and even though i miss home like crazy, i've gotten to be so comfortable in this area. there isn't any structure, there is a general routine that i follow, but everything is just so laid back and carefree. i appreciate cambodia and everything in it so much more everyday. i can't believe there is only one week left until i come home... i feel like my life is going to be so much more different now that i've done this and this has undoubtedly been the best decision i've ever made.
tonight showed me how much of a difference that i and all the other guests and volunteers make... i wish i could bring a piece of everything that is good, happy & enjoyable home with me.... so every single one of the kids lol but pictures can suffice. this is really an experience that has to be personally experienced and lived for one to truly understand the magnitude of realization, appreciation and gratitude that it instills in someone. this has not, in the least, been a depressing experience. it has not been at all what i thought it would be but that is far from a bad thing, i've loved every minute of it... the con's are outweighed by the pro's enormously.

not too much

not much has been going on... i've stayed in the hotel 2 days this week.... their food doesn't agree with me at all, it sucks. i've still been living on rice and it's definitely killing me lol it's starting to taste like other things and my dreams about good food are becoming more consistant haha
the kids at the orphanage, i just looove themmm. last night at imagine orphanage, we drew and just played the whole time... the kids are so fun and energetic. i let them take my camera and take pictures, we got a lot of good ones lol
i can't believe there is only 8 days left... i can't wait to go home, but it will def be tough leaving them... this whole trip has been a crazy awesome experience.

catch up

went to floating village the other day... that itself was crazy! they literally have built life on water... there is a school, shops and little floating houses. i couldn't imagine living on the water... especially cause there is no doubt crocodiles in the water and snakes! (but we'll get to that) i saw people just jumping in. scary cause one, the water is soooo dirty and two cause of all the things that could be in there! but they're def used to all this, they're really fearless people it seems.
when you go to the floating village, you actually have to take a boat through it... it's a pretty big 'village', thats for sure. so really you just pass the houses, the school and whatnot... then on our way back, we stopped at a little shop type thing. it was ridiculous. first, we fed some huge ass fish, i think meng called them river sharks? hah but then we went up to a higher level and there were dozens of crocodiles! huge ones, little ones... they're ugly, interesting things. meng was telling me about someone who used to put his head in their mouths, but nothing happened and one day he put his arm in and it took the whole thing off. i wish my camera didn't die :(
after walking around a bit, i went to look at the other stuff they have in there. they had a water snake (i think?), a crocodile fish and other types of fish that were big and little. there, looking at those fish, was where i was approached by like a 4 or 5 year old hold a huge snake around his neck. i don't know how they do it! i looked around and there were a few other kids holding snakes too... it was insane! just the thought creeped me out. meng said that they were quiet snakes, so they wouldn't do anything... i wouldn't trust any snake.
meng showed me wine that had snakes and scorpions in it... they looked really sweet and they were actually drinkable too... something else i wouldn't do lol
beside the table was a basket... meng started petting it. it was a snake. i was completely freaked out because there was only a net covering it... he kept coaxing me into petting it, i was too scared to but then i finally did... and i jumped haha it was such a weird feeling, creepy too.
in the shop they also had stuffed crocs and croc skin... the skin they had hanging up was taller than me, by like 2 feet... that's a hugeee croc! but it was really sweet to feel.
ah! driving home from the floating village, i encountered my first crazy person... not personally but close enough. we had to go slow because some of the roads, especially on the way to the floating village, were still flooded. so driving slowly along, this man jumps out of a house with briefs and a shirt on, swinging a machete around all crazy... i looked at meng and he's like "ah crazy man.. when they do drugs, they get crazy". he had blood running down his arms and he was yelling stuff... it was crazy, to say the least.

i also went to the artisan centre in the last few days... there it shows like people chipping and molding and painting all the stuff they make there. it really takes a lot of skill... and these people have the skill.
it was pretty sweet... my guide was telling me how he has an uncle who lives in brantford... i haven't talked to anyone from cambodia who has heard of anything more specific than "ontario, canada". he was telling me how his dream is to get out of cambodia and move to canada with his uncle... i think it's great that some people have dreams like that. i was talking to meng, and he on the other hand, wouldn't leave cambodia.
meng was telling me that people make $30-50 a month and all this stuff about cambodia. he said they don't measure wages by the hour like we do, its by day (which is something like $2-3, sometimes more, but it really doesnt last long), or week and month. he said he has family who live in paris, but he said it would be too much to do. he'd have to learn french and he really is fine with living in cambodia. i guess there are people here who are content with living the way they do, they make it work and they're fine with it... and then there is people who want nothing more than to leave... meng said getting all the things to leave cambodia is expensive, and it is hard to get visa's and stuff... if you could afford all of that, then you could live in cambodia comfortably anyway.

i've been going to the orphanage, teaching and whatnot... i love the kids soo much, they're all so sweet.
i think thats all for now!

my pinkeye/blepharitis

starting to get more pink and puffy

crosscontamination - pink eye in both eyes

beautiful blepharitis - eye infection

blepharitis progressing

blepharitis getting mildly better

doctors pictures of blepharitis



quick remembering...

i was talking to a guy who goes to school here... he is local and he visits the orphanage... we were talking about schooling and stuff.
first of all... guess how much he pays for one year of schooling... $235... he was mindblown when i told him school here is between $2000 and $4000... he also pays $35 for rent, with 4 other people
he was telling me that he is in the law program but is also learning english... the english that they are teaching is highschool english... he was surprised when i said i already learned this

i needed to write this down to remember it lol i can't believe how different it is

ordinary day

today, similar to yesterday... i had a successful (i would say) time teaching. i'm realizing how hard it is to teach people english, who have very little skill of the language... it's not like it was when i was learning french because i can't speak their language to relate between english and khmer. but i've figured out some things that they like, that i can decently explain and get them to do.
yesterday we went through synonyms and just different words... when i teach them, i try to think of things that they try to say to me but can't because they don't know the english words... for a while, i was writing common words down and getting them to draw it for understanding...
today, i did sentences like:
"my name is _____"
"i am _____ years old"
"i live in _____"
"my favourite colour is _____"
and stuff like that... just one child isn't able to do what i teach because he hasn't yet learned how to recognize each letter of the alphabet. inbetween, i'll get him to go over letters, say it with me and then go from there... sometimes its harder than others because he's very young and speaks the least english, i would say, out of the kids... but he's sooooo cute :)
i kinda cheat, cause whatever i teach at COFCO, i bring over to Imagine Orphanage later on.. but it kind of seems like the imagine kids know very little english.. i haven't spent much time there yet so i could be wrong, but that's what i've gotten thus far.

regarding the flooding... it's mostly dried up already! i don't know where it all goes or how it disappears so fast, but it does. i guess it's good for them.

i miss everyone at home<333

flood day

i had something specific to write about... but too much rice has made me forget.

one... ah yes, the rain we got on monday.. absolutely ridiculous! i was sitting in my room, every so often the lights would flicker but nothing much... then BANG!!! i've never been so intimidated by a thunderclap ever! on my way to the orphanage the next day, frig... it was like a tsunami came through because there was flooding everywhere. shin high/knee high water and people were still just going about their day, riding along through this mess. i knew it was monsoon season (once i got here, i thought it ended in september)... but i didn't know the extent of it.



i couldn't imagine dealing with flooding like this consistantly. i didn't think they had sewers because the water wasn't going anywhere... but i noticed sewers today and they were actually overflowing... craziness. 

a serious note - ft. taylor riva

this whole thing stemmed from having a serious conversation with Taylor Riva begin_of_the_skype_highlighting     end_of_the_skype_highlighting...(she can take credit for what is said in here too)


This trip, a week and a half in, has made me realize how lucky I am and even though I'm sitting here with eyes that look like they're bleeding, I can't change the that realization. I look at this eye infection and although it has made me have to stay inside for 4 days and I have to wear sunglasses for the next 8 days... I see that these people deal with pink eye and infections all the time and they don't have vaccinations like we do for every type of simple ailment.
In my first days of being in Cambodia, I met the sweetest, happiest and brightest kids. I've been able to step out of my comfort zone and emerge myself into a completely unfamiliar and sometimes hard-to-deal with culture; I don't always like it but everything I learn, I appreciate. When I spend time with these KIDS, kids who are informally educated, don't have parents to walk them through life and who learn lessons through experience rather than education, I am mind-blown. These little people think what they do because they've learned it, they haven't been brainwashed by a society; they are pure and able to idealize by themselves.
They don't thrive on making some one else unhappy, they don't thrive on drama. These people have real life drama... they have war and poverty. Yet, I've never seen kids get along so well... they rarely fight and argue, they share everything and they help each other. They hold so much respect for those around them, something that most people lack.
Anything different from our real life, when you spend time away from what you're used to and when you emerge yourself into someone else's life for any amount of time, you realize things. You get the sense of wanting to help these people and want yourself to be better.
When you're in a place like Cambodia, you realize the things that you have at home that you take advantage of. Here, you can't drink water from the tap because of parasites and bacteria. I can only use the tap water to wash my hands and bathe, I have to brush my teeth with bottled water and drink only bottled water. But some people have to bathe in ponds filled with disease, I've seen it. I've seen people pump water from a well to clean them selves. Back home, we know the generalization of what these people deal with: they have dirty water. We don't consider that this water kills people, creates epidemics and we don't hear about it until it becomes a big problem that affects us, but it goes on every day here.
What were you doing when you were six, eight and ten years old? Were you transporting buckets of water back and forth on a pole that was suspended from your shoulders? Were you scrubbing clothes with something hard in a big bowl full of soap and water? That's what these kids are doing. When we were that age, we were in school for 6 hours. Some of these children are lucky to have 6 hours of school in a week. They lack in education but it isn't their fault and what makes it even more amazing, is that at any chance, these kids take the opportunity to go to school if then can. We have a free opportunity to get an education and people don't attend, here the kids are so unbelievably excited to learn, it is like a Canadian child on Christmas morning (another thing, the kids don't even recognize Santa Clause). Schools here are built by people donating their money because the government doesn't have enough money to support it. We have all these schools in Canada, yet people decide not to attend because they 'don't feel like it'. (Yes, I know I was one of those people and I now know that what I took advantage of something that is so much wanted here in Cambodia.)
What do you sleep on at night? A big comfy mattress like most people? At the orphanage, they have queen-size wooden slats that sleep 3 kids and a lots of the local people sleep on hammocks. Do you eat in the morning, afternoon and evening? Sometimes these kids go without a lot of food. Can you easily drop $30 on a shirt? I can. These people would rather spend $30 on food to feed themselves for a long time rather than a shirt that will only stay in style for a month. Think of how life without a body part could be... landmines in Cambodia have killed or amputated many body parts. I've seen people with no feet, no legs and no arms. They don't complain, they sit and play music. I don't want to make people feel bad for having good things. I, of all people, love luxury... but I can appreciate the luxuries that I have, that's part of the point I'm trying to get across. What we worry about at home, like having a cell phone, nice hair and clothes, a car and whatnot... is minute compared to them worrying about food, money and health. How much do your parents annoy the hell out of you sometimes? Mine do, a lot. These kids don't have that, some don't have any parents. When I was looking at the family history of some kids, some of their parents have died from AIDS/HIV, some have just died or some kids were just abandoned at the hospital or other places. These simple relationships and material objects that we take advantage of sometimes are things that these children will never get to experience. We shouldn't feel bad for having nice things, we should feel lucky and appreciative. We don't necessarily deserve anything we have, we are just lucky to be where we are.
Here, you mostly learn by experience. Parents let their kids falls and scrape their knees and they don't hold their hand every step of the way. I'm sure the first time I brought going away up to my parents, they were like "No way, what are you thinking?". They didn't know anything about this place and I was doing it all alone, they weren't going to be with me. But then they realized that I'm not a little girl anymore, I am able to make my own decisions... no matter how crazy (even I thought I was crazy). But how else will we learn if we are limited to what we want to do? The learning and experience that I was reaching for was not something that being at home could provide. This isn't even formal education but I had no idea how much life knowledge I lacked until I came out here... the most important thing I've gained so far is independence (yeah, sometimes it really does suck).
These people experience struggle and I'm not saying that people at home don't, because we do. But, we have the opportunities to help us get out of it and most people here are stuck. They know more about responsiblities and priorities than we do, they've had to deal with it from day one. Being geographically placed somewhere isn't your choosing and we are lucky enough to have been placed where we are because we have doors already opened for us. Compared to these people, we have everything given to us. (I'm not taking away from the fact that we are hard workers too.)
Literally, one year ago, I would have never imagined to be where I am at this very moment. I was planning to go to college, making plans with people who aren't significant in my life anymore and not stopping to worry about what is going on in places like this. I was completely ignorant, I know that. I never thought so much could change but you can't live with planning out everything in your life, some things just fall in and out of place and sometimes your best bet is to roll with the punches. I have dreams, things that I want to do and that takes planning... but you can only plan so much because things inevitably and so often change. Cliches depict things best sometimes: you don't know until you try. You really don't because things are rarely ever as you expect them. When you take a risk, you don't necessarily have to love it, you might even hate it. But in the end, it's something you can say you did and you have the experience from it... you won't have the 'what if's' that you'd have if you never tried it.
I'm in a place that a lot of people will never be. I don't mean being in Cambodia. I mean being in a life-changing experience learning about myself and things that I was so unaware of before. In my place, I've realized how good it feels to help others in a different way than I'm used to.
When I get home, I know I'll go back to taking advantage of everything I have... the only difference is, I'll be taking advantage of it because I know how lucky I am to have it, not because it's there. Think of how good it felt to receive something you really wanted... that is every child here when they meet someone new or get something second-,third-, or fourth-hand... they appreciate everything they're given.
I would love to come back here one day and see that things have changed. It's been 40 years since the Khmer Rouge took over and their economy is still rundown. I miss home so unbelievably much at home sometimes, almost enough to want to come home.. But that's just the selfish part of me that gets overpowered when I help these kids learn English or just teach them basic things... who knows where what I taught them will take them. This trip has been hard on me, but thinking of the difference I'm making, I would do it somewhere else (or here, again) in a second.
If I were to not learn anything (impossible), I would have still spent a month in Cambodia. Like I said before, I took a risk and I tried it. I know when I leave I'll miss the kids unbelievably much and I'll think up ways of bringing them all home but it's easier leaving on the note that I know I helped them and they are still happy. I thought coming here would make me cry every day because I thought it would be horrible for them... but when I see the kids playing and smiling, it's a whole new feeling because they are happy. It could be just me, but being in this position is so fulfilling, I wish everyone had a chance to do so.


What is life without the risk?

it's been awhilee

my stupid eyes have kept me inside friday and saturday... all i did was watch movies, sleep and try to kill the time in the least boring way possible ... facebook has become my best friend :(
today however, i was lucky enough (or so i thought) to go outside and tour three of cambodias most popular temples.. ta prohm, angkor thom and angkor wat. these places are beautiful! i think i learned more about cambodian cultire today than i ever have about canada. their religion is so detailed with stories of war and beliefs in the afterlife and spirits and everything. the walls of just these three temples, and i didnt even see the whooooooole thing, are filled with inscriptions, carvings, stories and sculptures of gods and demons and what not. i had a real tour guide with me throughout the whole time, so he knew exactly everything there was to know about these places, it was incredible!
when we first entered angkor wat, monkies were everywhere! since angkor wat is in the jungle.. monkies stay in the jungle during the morning and then come out in the afternoon to look for food. the monkies were coming within 2 feet of people, and myself, and they'd just sit and then walk around some more. they're more intimidating than i thought, probably because meng told me they would bite lol
i was going to go on an elephant ride today as well, but as soon as we got there, they were going to take a break.
around the temple areas, they have shops and kids trying to sell things to you. after i had lunch, i went back to the car to wait for meng and my tour guide to finish lunch too (for some reason we all ate seperately :S)... the kids swarm you and beg you to buy things... they'll start at one item for a dollar, then 2 for 1, 3 for 1, etc... i was stuck with three kids around me for at least 15 minutes today. i felt so bad saying no to them, i had already caved and bought some things for people at home... but it was crazy, they didn't take no and they didn't give up.
the downside to today was the intense heat that we had... i now have to wear sunglasses for 10 days because of my eye infection and having anything extra on my body during today just wasn't nice. it was so brutally hot. my tour guide said they consider this weather cooler and that it is even hotter in april. i couldn't imagine that, i miss the cold of canada so much right now... i would run around in shorts if it was snowing when i got home.

what else can i say...

everyday in cambodia, before last night and today were awesome. now my buzz and excitment has been completely blown by this stupid pink eye... after never having it before, or for as long as i can remember at least, yeah life was good. but now, it just sucks.... last night, meng bought me eye drops.. when i woke up in the morning my eye was puffier than it was before i went to sleep. this morning he took me to the doctors, where he confirmed it was conjunctivitis.. there really wasn't a doubt about that before. i'm just so worried about crosscontaminating it into my other eye, having one eye get glued shut everytime i sleep is not fun at all and i couldnt imagine both being like that.
i get to lay in bed for the next three days, whil eputting eyedrops in every 15 minutes. this is going to be fun... it better clear up :(

my first, almost full, day was good. when i got to the orphanage today, they were blowing up balloons and hanging them from a long string thing to hang across the roof. i think it's for their apsara performance. after this, i started teaching. today i taught them greetings, salutations and some nature things... it's kinda hard to teach the kids all together because some are older, some are younger... and i think the older ones get bored waiting for some the  younger ones to write everything down... it surprises me though, how quickly some of the younger ones write things down and how good their writing is. after a while, we ended up just drawing on the board... i got some pictures of their good drawing, however it definitely didn't compare to the things they were drawing before.
i also got to see how they washed their clothes today... i wasn't expecting this, thats for sure. they have a well pump in the back... one works at pumping water into a bucket (she was also pumping water for cooking)... and the other has the dirty clothes in a pile, a big bowl to put them in, laundry soap and a scrubber.. yup, the boy was scrubbing the clothes in a bowl to clean them... i found that kind of sad, i bought some laundry detergent to bring here,  but i'm pretty sure i just take my laundry downstairs and they take it and do it for me... so i will probably end up giving them the detergent.
i finally had a realish meal (that wasn't breakfast)... i ordered pizza! it's so hard ordering pizza over the phone because most of the people here don't speak english, or so it seems.... but it was a good meal, nonetheless... a well needed one, thats for sure. since i've been in siem reap, i've spent $20... and that was on my ticket to go to the waterfall yesterday. other times i've eaten, which is 2 other times not including breakfast, i've been given the meal.
something not so awesome about today is that i'm pretty sure caught pink eye from the kids... i noticed at the beginning of the day yesterday that one of the girls had it and on the way back from the mountain, another girl (who i was with all day) was also getting it... today when i went there, about 3 or 4 more of them had it... all day i didn't touch my eyes but when i came back to the hotel, my eye was getting irritated and mucus-y.. how great is that? i'm going to clean it constantly but if it doesn't get better, meng said he would take me to the doctor.

kulen mountain

today was amazing, minus our few mishaps... but the views here are absolutelllllyyy beeaaautiful, i love it.
i woke up at 5 today, we had to go to the orphanage for 6. quite possibly the longest day ever lol. as soon as i walked in today, the kids were all set to go... they were soooo excited, they said they've only been there 2 times prior to today. our little truck-bus rolled in today... it's like something you'd see in a scary movie, kind of reminded me of wrong turn... the pickup truck thing that all the crazies ride in, it was pretty sketchy and it proved to be so later on lol... but yeah, we got in, we fit like 35 people in the back of that thing... bumpy, squishy ride thats for sure. we got about half way, if that, up the hill and the truck started making weird noises, then it just broke down. we sat there on the road, while people passed us constantly and like 2 people stopped to help... the person driving the truck didn't know how to fix it, so we all began to walk...i've never sweat so much in my life, it started getting really hott and it was all uphill.. the kids loved it though, they were spread out everywhere! myself and the girl from ireland kept pretty close and her boyfriend stayed back a little... i bet he soon regretted that lol.. we walked for about 25 minutes, i was dyinggg. good thing i came prepared with water, first time i thought ahead haha. this one vehicle stopped and offered to take just the kids, but the other girl and i didn't think that was a good idea, clearly lol.. so we continued on our strut for a while until two other vans pulled up with some of our people in it. we managed to fit 25 people in the van we were in... there were lots of people in it before we even got in, i felt like it was a clown car lol.
once we got up to the waterfall part, it was sooo beautiful! the kids absolutely loved it! they jumped right in and we're so happy... it was awesome to see them so happy and indulged in something non-technological. they all get along so well and just have fun together, it's different from home lol.
once we got back up the stairs, ones that were so scary to walk on, they were all slanted, super spaced apart and just really sketchy, we had some lunch...i actually ate, it was just rice but it was really good... the kids played around some more and then we left around 130-2... it took us til about 5 to actually get home, the ride was so long! the wind was in my face the whole time, i've never felt more sandy, dirty and gross lol
it was an awesome day, minus the bus breaking down and the gross heat. i love being around the kids because they're always happy and smiling... the only way these kids are unfortunate is financially. other than that, they're happy and loved. all of them had a new pair of shoes on today and as hard as it is, they're still supported. they may not have parents, but they're doing fine... one of the girls was telling me how she gets to go to school on monday, she was really excited about it. when i talk to these kids, it makes me want to bring them all home! ... mom you better be ready for it! lol

some things i've seen that i've forgotten to write:
- a spider like 5-6 inches wide!!!!!! omgggg, it was very scary, it was in the jungle.. eee
- a man with no foot
- someone showering using a pump well ... :(
- a fight between a woman and a man... first they were hitting, then the woman threw a water bottle at the man and he was restraind by a friend
- a rainbow!!
- little babies everywhere without clothes on... or riding around on motorbikes without diapers and shoes :(
- entrance to the cambodia army area
- one of the kids caught a dragonfly and when they went to let it go, they through it up and the dragonfly flew into my face... they thought it was hilarious lol

i guess things happen that way.

today has been exhausting. i've been up since about 5, i think it's the jetlag, i can't sleep in. but i went to the first orphanage today at about 8... the kids there are awesome and so welcoming. once i got there, i gave them colouring books and markers and we sat there and coloured for a good 2 hours... the kids coloured with me, asking me to pick out colours to draw certain things and they picked out colours for me. these kids are really smart and easily catch on to english. when i started to teach today, i taught them what A, B, C & D sounds are... i got them to name words that started with each letter and then asked them to draw. these kids are amazing at drawing, i took art for 4 years and don't have the skill these kids have lol... it's insane how good they are, my camera was dying at this point so i didn't get to take pictures of them, but i'll do it again, it's very impressive. i tried two different cambodian pieces of food today.... the first was at the orphanage, it was a bread-type roll thing with rice and eggs and all this stuff inside, i tried to eat it... i couldn't do it! i am usually perfectly fine with mixing all types of stuff together, but the stuff they mix together here doesn't agree with my tastebuds. the second thing i tried, was supposed to be sweet... it was, but it was also very weird. it was sticky rice, crushed ice, cooked egg yoke and something else mixed together, i also triedddd to eat it but i was literally gagging, i felt so bad for barely touching it...i'm having realllly bad luck with eating things here.
but, outside of the food.. more about the orphanage. around 11 i came back to the hotel for some rest and then went back at 2... when i got back there i helped two of the boys there who don't attend school right n ow. one of them is 15 and the other is 17... one of the older men there asked me to help them get faster at typing on the computer. like i said before, the kids seem so smart and seem like they can grasp what you're trying to show them easily, for people who don't entirely speak english.
it's not as sad as i thought it would be seeing these children without parents... they are all happy, smart little kids who are still getting the chance to learn. some of the kids go to school, i found that out today. some go in the morning and some in the afternoon (i think thats how it works). i'm finding out lots of different things each day, i think that some stuff i wrote about before may have been a little off.. it's hard learning things exactly as they are because it's hard to understand sometimes, but i'll fix things as i go :)
i don't know if the orphanage struggles as much as i formerly thought, i think that's what i got from talking to meng and the 'mother' telling him things. it's hard to say that they are completely struggling but i don't know how everything there works quite yet...
but it is easy to see everything that they need, i'd love be able to give them a new dry-erase board to learn from. the one they have now sits on a handmade wooden easel and the board itself has a huge crack in it... the kids have such blank slates that are waiting to be wrote on and they don't have a lot of the right things that they need... today they were all really excited though because they received a donation from someone and it was finally put into their account.
i'm excited to see how this goes, i have goals for some of the kids... like the two boys i was helping on the computer... i want them to be able to type really fast before i leave. also, when i was talking to the 15 year old boy today, he was telling me how he wants to be a doctor in his future. it's amazing to see that even in the position they're in, they still look forward and hope for a better future.

the orphanage/school

so i got to go around to the two places that i'll be at for the month..
the first one is a school-type place, i met the 'mother', the cook, another man and two of the children... this place is farrrrr different from the orphanage... they have real rooms, one for boys and one for girls. the two children i met were 15 and 16, but they look maybe 12, everyone here looks years younger than what they are. here, you are frequently asked your age and it is acceptable to do so and i've only gotten shocked faces when the people find out i'm dahb pram buhee, meaning 18... 
when i first got to the orphanage, i had kids all around me greeting me, calling me 'sister' and hugging and asking questions... they are not shy, that's for sure... there are sam sep (30) children at the orphanage. after meeting some of the kids, i sat with the 'mother' and meng and we talked for a bit... the mother there makes beautiful 'flower bouquets' made from dyed nylon stretched over wire and she sells them for money... they are amazing, i want to bring one home... the orphanage was a big eye opener, one of the boys (a 15 year old), showed me around. let me tell you this first, when you walk through the gates, you look to your right and see like an outdoor kitchen-type area, with a roof made from bamboo and leaves(?) i guess... then you look ahead and see a long building made from the same thing, with about 5-7 doors. on the left side you see a building where the kids have little desks and a performance stage (they have traditional performances 3 days a week in hopes of getting donations from the local people). when the boy took me into the room where all the 'beds' are, i wanted to cry. there are about 9 beds maybe queen size made of just wood. the boy said 3 children sleep together. there were no pillows and very few blankets that i saw.
after my little tour, we went back and i met one of the other volunteers. she is an older woman from australia who will be here for 6 months... her rent is only $130 a month for a 3 bedroom, 2 bathroom house... that just goes to show how different the pricing is from here to back home. but after that, we talked about the orphanage and how they eat. for a 50kg bag of rice, it costs $30US and it only lasts the orphanage 3 days. they don't have very much money for food sometimes and sometimes the kids have to go without eating a lot. whatever money the 'mother' gets from her flower baskets and the performances, it all goes to the children. she said tonight that she doesn't need money and she doesn't need to be married, whatever she has goes to these kids. it's heartbreaking to see what they have to go through, but it doesn't phase them because they have someone who loves them. the boy also showed me today a list of all the children there... it has their name, when they were registered there, their age and it says something about the parents. under 95% of the names, the parents are deceased, some fathers and mothers are still alive somewhere, but they have nothing to lead them to them.
that's all i'm gonna say for now, i start tomorrow at 8... we'll see how it goes.

first day around.

this place is filled with stuff that is so entirely different from home, it's crazy.
for the first part of my morning so far, i've gotten through a lot... i went downstairs for 7:30, had breakfast and then did a overview i guess of what i'm doing and of the culture and whatnot...
i found out a bunch of things that are pretty sad...
- people really don't retire, they continue to work.. those who get a pension get about $5 A MONTH
- i walked through the school area... yes, you can do that. the children there are all types of ages and the government doesn't support this school... there are a bunch of schools in the area of all types, but this one is supported only by donations, i have a picture of a wall-type thing that shows the monetary amounts that people have donated. it's so crazy and it isn't supported by the government because the government itself has no money for it, they go to other places and ask for money.
- each class has roughly 40-70 children... they're big rooms, i have some pictures of the outside that will go up eventually.... the classes are so big because they don't have many teachers
- in the area with the school, they have a pagoda (a temple where the monks are, where you can pray), they have big buildings that store bones of people.. mostly the rich have these, there was one that was worth $50,000 (i think thats what meng said)... the rich put a bone from a deceased person in it... there are also big caskets around the area (right by the school too, eee)
- there is a pond(?) in the middle of the place and today there were people in it... it's a small canoe type boat and guess what the person was using to move it? ... plastic plates.
- on the streets there are a bunch of gas stations... but! on the side of the road, there many places that have two big barrels full of gas that people who own those stands put gas into old liquor bottles to sell... i was told they go for cheaper than the gas stations and there are many around.
- it's unbelievable as to how many children are here, there are hundreds (roughly?) in the school area where i went and then kids all on the streets and there are a bunch of different little schools and orphanages around, it's nuts!
- i don't think i wrote about the dogs before... there are stray dogs everywhere, but not all of them are actually stray, but there is enough around here.. but i was told not to go near them because they'll probably bite. i was also told that they actually eat dog MEAT here... and if you have wine (i think thats what it was) and dog meat, it's considered to work as a pain reliever. i think i'll skip out on that and just have a $5/hour massage!
- i also found out some things about the orphanages... some of the children are there because when they were born, their parents escaped from the hospital and just left them... i was told a story about a boy whose mother was raped and she was crazy and she left the child, he was only about 4 in the picture i was shown... it's insane what goes on here


it's crazy because of how different and poor it is here and how sad it makes me but these people are generally happy because they don't know any different. i went for my first bike ride alone around the area by my hotel to look for lunch and it's filled with little shops and people are everywhere. it started to rain on me, like it does whenever i'm outside so i came back to the hotel foodless...i think i'm going to have to go into 'downtown' to get food... something i'm kind of scared of doing because the street is so long. it's like our yonge street in toronto, it just keeps going forever, right through the city and it's so busy and hectic with all the tuk tuks, mopeds and cars, i'm scared of getting hit or something lol, i have a video of the craziness.. it'll definitely go up.
later on, around 2, i'll be going to the orphanages and checking those places out.. hopefully i'll be able to find some food. if not, i'll be living on granola bars and nutrigrain bars haha and only breakfast in the morning...
i guess that's all for now

around town..

Today has been insane... after my flight from Singapore, I came to my hotel, unpacked a bit and set things up. After I did that, I passed right out.. the jetlag is really coming to me :| After my nap, Meng, who is my guide, brought me to the Temple for dinner... It's so different there, their menu is huge, full of fish stuff and very cheap. What I got tonight here for $4.30 probably would've cost like $10-12 at home. During dinner they have like a dance show where they have different dances... one is a traditional blessing dance, then theres a coconut shell one and a pailin peacock one, they're really interesting.. i'm so mad i didn't bring my camera tonight...
the streets here are soooo insane, there are people on bicycles, little moped type things and all types of cars... there isn't very much structure, especially on the roads that aren't in the tourist area... everyone is alway passing eachother and honking and there are people just walking...i'm kind of scared to go out on a bike because of how hectic everything seems lol... it really feels like absolutely everyone in this area is outside at night, it's so alive and filled with people, it's so crazy... yet there isn't anything special going on
the 'downtown' area has a night market square and it seems like its a carnival without the rrides... there are a million little shop areas stuff, with eeverything sooo cheap. there was a place that had by 4 shirts for like $2 and get one free. there are deals like that everywhere! they offer massages everywhere for $1-7/hour for lots of different things, but i had a sweet one tonight... i guess they just brought this in not too long ago, but they have these big tanks with little fish, that you put your feet into and they come up and nibble on your feet... it was so crazy and it felt really cool
the weather here is pretty sticky, which sucks and it drizzles/rains a lot too... i was wrong, the monsoon season doesn't end until november lol

i think that's all i can say right now about my first day... other than i'm effin tired and it's gonna be hard getting used to the time change...
"chum riep leah"

people ask if i'm crazy... yeah, i think i am.

Thus far, I've only done a 7km tuk tuk ride from the airport to my hotel... and what I've seen is so incredibly different, I don't know what I should expect when I go to the Orphanage tomorrow...

- there are wild cows on the side of the road, that look really unhealthy and very thin
- there was a mother with THREE kids under the age of 2 on a bicycle riding along
- houses made from umbrellas, tree scraps with lots of kids
- kids walking around everywhere
- upon arriving, miles and miles inland just looked flooded, with trees scattered and the land looks so underdeveloped, trees sporadically placed everywhere... it was a sight, but it's so crazy that there really isn't much
- there is a "cock a doodle do" chicken that i can hear from my window, and he does it more than just once at sunrise...
- there wild, skinny dogs everywhere

I've learned from the flights here that I can manage by myself and by doing so, I'm on the road to growing up. I also really miss everyone at home already even though my hotel is beautiful, my room is nice, this is gonna be a huge adjustment, I'm not sure how but I think I'll be able to handle this... but it is going to be a long month...

To start...

Instead of writing everything in Facebook notes, I'm just going to post on here and try it out... It'll be easier for me to write down what I've seen and what I've done so I can look back and remember once I come home. I also just want everyone to know what it's like in somewhere that isn't home, this is a huge eyeopener already and I've only been here a few hours, I want everyone to experience it with me.